Saturday, May 19, 2012

Wings and Beginnings

Sometimes I feel that all it would take for me to soar is the ability to correctly articulate what exactly it is that keeps me tethered to the ground...but then as soon as I articulate one issue and maybe even a solution, another obstacle looms and blocks my path. I'm beginning to think that soaring isn't the destination. Perhaps it's precisely in the journeying, in the striving to search out, articulate, heal and rise above each wound. There is a thrill in realizing that one is evolving forward and upward, in recognizing and embracing these seemingly insignificant day-to-day discoveries. Is it possible that true happiness comes not from the final picture but in the very act of connecting the dots?

I love to write. Writing releases something in me that needs wings, writing helps me find sky in which to fly, writing opens doors and windows that I often don't even realize were possible, writing helps me breathe out the old and dusty, and to breathe in the new and possible.

My hope is that maybe writing here in this blog will let some light into these dusty old hallways and help me to clear out the cobwebs of thinking processes that just don't work for me anymore and bring life into the nooks and crannies of a soul that has been feeling somewhat withered and frayed for far too long. If you happen to stumble upon this little corner of cyberspace, I hope that you too might find breaths of fresh air here and there, or perhaps even sparks of kindred spirit and companionship-along-the-way.

My faith is vital to me. So my spirituality will be - has to be - interwoven into every breath I take and every word I write...we are inseparable, He and I. I make no excuses for that, I would not be here today without His mercy and help through some very long and lonely stretches of dark nights of the soul. As close as we are though, and even as I'm crawling into Him for sanctuary, I still doubt and I still rage against His silence when I need answers and there are none.

I do not seek to proselytize, nor do I want to hear it. My faith journey is my own, my spirituality is sacred to me, and in this place, I need the freedom to explore and wrestle with all that needs to find expression - and be open to all that wants to find me from within that wrestling and stretching.

Take me as I am. Come in, take your shoes off and rest awhile with me on this sacred ground of a soul searching for her spirit wings and little pieces of sky to soar through.

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